Being Judged

Lately, and even in the past, I have been approached by people that know me, not very well, but tell me they are so surprised that I was so ill in my life. The reason they are so shocked when they find out about my past is because of how I appear to them now. They tell me they thought …

Being Strong

I was blessed with being stubborn and strong willed. Sometimes it can be detrimental but in my particular situation I was lucky. Even as a young child I wanted to be “normal” and struggled to keep up with the other kids at home and at school. As a teen when I was ill I remained the same. I always kept …

My Little Sister

Chelle is four years younger than I am, so she was only 4 years old when I became sick. Now both of us are in our 40’s and she has complained many times over the years that she does not really know everything that was wrong with me. Did my parents make a mistake by protecting her? No, in the …

One Hospital War Story

One of my hospital stays brings back a memory of myself, unable to eat of drink for weeks and weeks. The only thing I was able to do was sip two ounces of water every 4 hours. It was pathetic. I was reduced to begging for ice chips and watching the clock on the hour for my next sips of …

Siblings of a Sick Child

I was the middle child. That already comes with baggage from what I have shared with other middle children through my life. I was kind of stuck in the middle, too young to tag along with my older brother and too old to do anything else with my baby sister but baby-sit her. When I got sick, both siblings suffered. …

Dealing With Scars

There are two kinds of scars I can speak of. One is the scars on the outside, the surgical scars. I was lucky enough that even at my young age, my surgeons considered that I would be conscious of too man scars and for each surgical procedure cut a hairline away from the last scar. I only appear to have …

Who do you Talk to about your Struggles?

Since I was so young when I first got sick, I really did not know who to speak to or how to deal with what was happening to me. My one escape to share with someone was to create an imaginary friend. I recall my imaginary friend being there for me when things were tough and I felt all alone. …

The Diagnosis

Not knowing was the worst part for my parents and doctors but that did not last forever. One moment we are getting a final test, the next moment my parents world is turned upside down. Ulcertive Colitis was what was wrong. They could have just spoken a foreign language to my parents, since back in the last 60’s early 70’s …

What if they do not know what is wrong with you!

In the very beginning, age 7, my parents thought I was menistrating. The early doctors blamed our family life and family disfunctions as to why I was so ill. I did not care at this point who or what did it to me, I just wanted to be ok. Traveling from doctor to doctor is a chore for both patient …

How do you Deal with Feeling Different at School

I knew I was different, of course I had to, even at age 7. There I was perfectly normal, and the next thing I know I am unable to make it to the bathroom and having accidents in school. How humiliating! I was weak, frail, and took loads of pills every day. I missed school often, due to medical tests …